Pairings: The Game
by Lady BlackDragonFire
Summary: One day my friends and I played a game where we had to match up random anime characters. This, sadly, is what came of it...
1. Cossovers can be achieved w a boomerang

Notes 'n stuff that don't matter:

  


This is a collection of short stories that came about when me and my friends started playing a game called "Pairings" that I made up. You simply pick two characters (male/female, male/male, female/female) from the same or different animes and come up with a way they can hook up.

  


This is also a good way to get the creative juices flowing if you've got writer's block (not to mention fun!).

  


Whether it's a one nighter, accident, or true love is completely up to the person telling the story. The rules change a lot and newer (crazier) ones spring up all the time. Have fun and play it yourself.

  


Oh yeah, and, the stories are kinda short. The main point of them is to make people laugh (usually), or cry, whatever. This is because thinking of sane reasons, or even emotional crap, for people to get together takes more than a nanosecond of thought (and that makes my head hurt). Plus it should be spontaneous! (*Thinks* Yeah, that's a good enough excuse for crappy writing...)

  


So, anyway, here's the pairs I've had to put together so far.

  


Oh yeah, and these stories aren't exactly "groundbreaking" (See note about lack of thinking done in this department of my brain) so don't expect too much.

  


***First Story***

  


Pairing: Ranma (From Ranma ½) and Miroku (From Inuyasha)

Let's see... busty redhead who lacks in modesty and the world's most perverted priest. 

Oh what will I ever do? 

Okay. *Ahem* 

Once upon a time, Sango, the most beautiful (and only) female demon exterminator in the world, hit Miroku, the most perverted (but very handsome) monk in the world, so hard with her boomerang that he was knocked into the 21st century. After regaining consciousness, Miroku got up and realized he wasn't in ancient Japan anymore. Not being one to panic, Miroku did the only thing he could... 

Find easy girls and sake! 

Many red hand prints, mace sprays, and stun guns later (the joys of progress), Miroku entered the Cat Café, the only place in town he had yet to be kicked out of. Lo and behold, working as a waitress in the café was the most beautiful girl Miroku had ever laid eyes on. 

"Just look at the size of those... 

"...bowls of noodles. The ghoul was making them even bigger and she was filling them to the brim with hot broth. One drop of it and I'm dead." thought Ranma. 

"Groom! We have another costumer, go and see to him." said Shampoo's great-great-great-great-great... 

*An hour later* 

great-great-grandmother. 

"Huh, he's dressed strangely, but he's definitely easy on the eyes..." thought Ranma absently, "Erk. I mean... dammit!" 

As of late Ranma had noticed being female for a long period of time did more than just attract boys to her. It made her attracted to boys as well. 

"Welcome to the Cat Café, how may I serve youUUUUUUEEEEE!" 

And all the prettiness of the strange boy just went right out the window as Ranma felt a hand where there should not be one. 

Five minutes later, Ranma was let off work early because the ghoul had decided that one customer (mainly Miroku) with his head stuck in a serving tray was probably enough. 

"That ... that jerk!" fumed Ranma as she took the longer road home. Right now was not the time to be a) teased by Ryoga, or, b) lectured by her father. Both would have heard the news by now seeing how the gossip spread around here. 

Ranma's stomach grumbled. 

"I'm home." said Ranma. 

"Oh, hello Ranma!" said Kasumi. 

"Ah, so your name is Ranma." 

"You!" yelled Ranma, pointing at (who else) everyone's favorite monk. 

"You know Miroku?" 

A blood vessel popped out on Ranma's head. 

"So this is the guy that felt you up in the café. You really are letting your guard down." said Ryoga, who had 'mysteriously' shown up. 

Blood vessels now showing on Ranma's head: 2 

"That reminds me. Ranma, I have good news for you." 

Ranma looked at her father. 

"Your engagement to Akane is off!" 

"..." 

"..." 

"..." 

"Woo-hoo!" said Ranma and Ryoga together. 

"You will instead be marrying Miroku." 

"Woo-WHAT?!" 

"Well, you see, this monk is one a noble quest to have a son before a curse kills him. That and I lost you to him in a round of gambling." 

Five minutes later a jovial Miroku and a dazed Ranma were hitched and headed for the direction of Kagome's shrine (Miroku could sense the jewel). 

A year passed and though Ranma and Miroku got into many arguments, fights, and "surprises" (they found out how to stop hot water from burning Ranma), they became a happy married couple. All thanks to Sango's boomerang and both Miroku's (also surprising) and Ranma's (not so surprising) bisexuality. 

***The End***


	2. Yuri in the Stars with Outlaws

*This first bit is a crazy little note to my friend ... I can't believe I'm actually putting it in here though, I mean, I sound even stupider than usual!*

  


*Insert friend's name here*,

MUAHAHAHAHAHA*cough,cough*HAHAHAHA freakin' HA! The great and powerful Lady BlackDragonFire is MORE than a match for this pairing! First I will... I will... 

Um... 

I will... 

Uh... 

MUHAHAHAHAHAHA! I will ignore this pairing until I... uh... have thought of something DEVIOUS enough to do this pairing justice, not that I haven't thought of anything! MUHAHAHAHA! 

Lady BDF's Sensible Inner Voice: Yeah right. You just got shocked by the fact it's a yuri pairing. 

Lady BDF: Shut up. I did not and I will NOT argue with myself. 

Sensible Inner Voice: *Rolls eyes* 

Lady BDF: DIE! 

***Big ass cat fight ensues*** 

^_^''''' -- Lady BDF's Regular Person Voice (can't believe two of her multiple personalities are fighting one another) 

Ahem, anyway... 

*This would be the beginning of the story*

Once upon a time, Aisha Clan Clan of the Cataro Cataro and Twilight Suzuka of the ... uh ... Ass-Kicking Super Cool Assassins' Society were both about to profess their undying love for Gene Starwind (and Jim, in Aisha's case) when Melfina told them the terrible news. 

Gene and Jim (Kawaii! It rhymes! ^____^) had run off together. 

"Well ... shoot." Was the general reaction of Aisha and Suzuka. 

"Isn't that illegal? Molesting a minor? I mean, Jim's what, twelve, fourteen at best?" said Suzuka, mad at being beaten to her true love by a child. 

Aisha started whistling at that point. 

In any case, a drowning of the sorrows was in order, well, that and it *might* be a good idea to get Suzuka drunk enough to unable her from swinging that sword around like a maniac (which is what she was). So Aisha dragged Suzuka to a bar. 

Six hours of straight drinking later it was pretty damn obvious the alcohol was having an effect, much to the joy of all the male patrons at the bar. 

A few more hours later, Aisha and Suzuka figured out that the key to a good relationship was not true love, but rather, it was how well your partner could do the horizontal tango. 

Anyway, Suzuka and Aisha came back to the ship sometime in the day (Suzuka and Aisha: Hey, *you* try telling time when you have a hangover) and found Jim working on the ship and Gene drinking coffee. 

"We heard about you and Jim." said Suzuka once the room stopped spinning. 

"Eh?" said Gene, not really listening. 

"Yeah, you guys do make a kinda cute couple." said Aisha. 

Gene spit out his coffee and Jim's head hit the dashboard above him. 

"What?! We aren't ... we - you - him - what?!" 

At this point Melfina popped her head out of the kitchen and giggled. 

Two seconds later she was running for her life from, well, everyone. Suzuka and Aisha because she lied to them (for which they would never admit they were actually grateful for). Gene because Melfina had caused him to miss out on a threesome, and Jim because the whole reason Melfina had done it was so she could have Gene and Jim all to herself. 

The End. 

Oh, yeah, and Suzuka and Aisha lived happily ever after because they balanced each other out with Suzuka's mellowness and Aisha's nuttiness and all that mushy stuff. Just in case your interested. 

***The Real The End***

Disclaimer: I don't own diddly-squat!


End file.
